(It’s actually 346 words, but idc)

Lucas Singer’s Journal

August 3rd, 2021

Yesterday was my birthday! It was actually one of the best days I’ve had in a while. I’ve had a tough year and kinda distanced myself from my friends, so it was nice for all of us to come together for my birthday party and just hanging out.

There was one bad apple, though: Zoïe.

I thought we had solved our issues, but it seems like she is still hung up on something that I did. I’m not sure what it is though. We’ve always had a relationship where we can poke fun at each other, but lately, her “jokes” have gone too far with her.

I have a tendency to constantly put myself down, and when she made jokes that insinuate me being a bad person, I start freaking out and I get upset. At first, I beat myself up about this too, but my therapist told me that even though I need to work on regulating my emotions, I also needed to tell Zoïe that I don’t like those jokes. Ever since then, I’ve communicated my feelings, but I feel like she doesn’t care because no matter what I say, she still insults me in the form of a “lighthearted joke”.

Yesterday, at my party, she was a bit unsufferable and, of course, I let her put me down. I told her she was right about everything, but eventually, I broke. I ran to my room and told my girlfriend that I didn’t want anyone to follow me.

Now, my girlfriend wants me to confront Zoïe, but I don’t know where to start. I am a people pleaser and let people walk all over me. I won’t let that happen this time. I need to stand my ground with Zoïe and maybe even threaten to end out friendship if she can’t stop this behavior. What did I do to her to deserve this? I’m not sure. I’m still convinced I am in the wrong somehow, but I will find out later today.