“So, is he going to take care of you?” there was clear hesitation in his pause.


“.... and the kids?”

She couldn’t even look up at him. Her eyes were glued to the map that was tracking the man he was speaking of. He was stuck at a stop light. Thank God there was traffic. She was beginning to panic. They had never crossed paths with one another. Sure, they knew about each other. They knew what the other meant to her but never, had they ever both been at her apartment at the same time. 

“_Shit_.” she thought.

All she could do was look up at him, tears beginning to form in her eyes. She knew what he was asking. She knew that this was it - that in a way, he was helping to make the decision for her. How long did she really expect she could carry on like this? The last two weeks had been pure hell and she knew that all of the stress, all of the overthinking had led to this very moment. 

Her phone vibrated. 

“_I am in love with you_” was all that it read.

Her heart stopped. Her mind began racing. This was it. This was finally it. Granted, she had hoped he would say it in person but, this is what she had longed for, for eight years - him to finally say it. 

Quickly, she typed a message back and set her phone down, realizing what she had just said.

“Yes. I know he will,” she could barely get it out but there was still somehow confidence in her voice. 

“Well, then, I guess this is it. I should get going. I do have a birthday party at home to attend and all.” he sheepishly smiled at her. He started to gather his things. She slowly began to collect herself. It was almost as if someone else was controlling her body as she stood up to say goodbye to him. It began to hit her. How would this work? Could they still be friends to some degree? She followed him to her living room. His back to her as he stepped into her children’s room and said goodbye to them. 

“I love you guys, I’ll see you later.” he said as he closed the door behind him.

He looked at her. His ocean blue eyes staring right into her soul. She could feel the tension. Hell, they could probably feel the tension from the apartment above her. This was it. She had made her decision. He stepped closer to her, his shaggy brown hair that had been perfectly slicked back at the beginning of their day together had a piece perfectly caressing his eyebrow. She couldn’t help but smile at him. He leaned in for a hug and as she embraced him, she realized that the arms that had comforted and saved her once, didn’t quite feel the same anymore. She looked up at him and he leaned in to kiss her, she noticed that that was different too even, and a wave of sadness began to fill her. He began to walk towards the door. 

“You’re going to be ok girl. I’ll see you later.”

She followed him. His work boots sounded like the pounding of a gavel with each step he took. 

He opened the door and walked out as he had so many times before. She knew this routine. The sulkiness. The grief of leaving. This time just felt different.

As she grabbed hold of the doorknob he was maybe six steps away from her. She poked her head out. 

“Hey,” he looked back.

“I hope you enjoyed you had a happy birthday…” her voicing trailing off. 

“It was the best one I’ve ever had, kid.”

That was the last time she saw him alive.