I’m frozen in place as people push me around, the colourful lights in the dark room making me dizzy. The nighttime prom after-party was never on my “another day” list. How did I let myself get dragged here just because I thought he was the love of my life…

I tremble as I wipe tears and snot away from my reddened pale skin, pulling at the sleeve. Ripping it at the seams. Great. I try to hold in my sobs, forcing them silent. No one notices since my hair is down.

He dragged me here and left me. Alone.__

__

He knows I hate these places. I force myself to move, my foot has already been stepped on ten times. I push against the crowd of the party. Sniffing, I run into the bathroom, rushing into one of the stalls. I curl up, sliding down the wall, and let out a heavy, loud, body shaking, sob.

I hate how my face pales and my nose and undereyes just get so red when I cry. Making it hard for me to hide that I’ve been crying or am about to.

Another sob escapes me, loud at first before turning me into a bawling mess. Why did I follow him. Not because he knows everything about me and took me to prom means that he actually likes me. He was probably just pressured because he didn’t want to show up with no prom date and found me as his last option.

My parents were right. Another sob that I couldn’t hold in. I’m failing and can’t get up. Maybe the reason I actually trusted Mason was because he actually made me feel wanted. He helped me get up….

And now he’s letting me back down…

_I hate that man. I hate that man. I had that man._

A sob escapes me again before I can stop it. Even with my mouth and nose against my sleeves. It only got me wet with saliva and tears.

Knock knock. . .

I pull my head up so fast I almost hit it against the wall behind me. Fuck. Was I too loud? Did someone hear me? Was I here for too long? Im sniffling, my body shaking, and I look like shit. Not a good first impression.

I put my head down, taking a deep breath to just open the door and run out the bathroom.

The door unlocks and I swing it open, my head down, my hair acting as a curtain as I head to rush from beside the person. A boy? A girl? I don’t know and I don’t want to. Right when I’m about to sprint past him/her, a broad shoulder pulls me in an embrace. Smells of… blossoms and oakwoods. Mason’s smell.

I look up at him. He’s…crying? With a red cheek that looks like a punch. “I’m so fucking sorry.”, his body shakes as he holds me closer, sobbing silently into my neck. He tries to explain himself but only manages to mumble out some words that are drowned in hiccups from his crying.

“It’s ok.”, I wrap my arms around him loosely. Why did I say that? It’s clearly not. Maybe it’s the way he’s sobbing. The way he’s holding onto me so tight like I may vanish. The way he’s…him.

Before I know it it, we’re out of the party, heading to his place. He carries me on the way, mumbling something about making it up to me. Going up to his roof is where we sit in together’s embrace. Just silence for a couple hours before the sun starts rising, the hue of gorgeous orange adding the prettiest color on his golden brown skin. Adding yellow highlights to his black hair after a couple more minutes. Making the green color of his eyes stand out a couple minutes later when you could see half the sun.

My head keeps turning from the sunrise to him, not knowing where to look. The sunrise is so pretty, but so is he.

He’s the only reason I’m witnessing another sunrise. Another day. Another kiss from him. He looks at me like I’m the most precious thing he’s seen, his eyes watering before he kisses me slowly. Mumbling against my lips “I love you so much, Astrid.”, he says, his voice sounds like he may cry again. “I’m so sorry. Don’t leave me.”, he sobs in the kiss. He tastes like every time. Honey (but with a taste of salt because of the tears). My honey. It may sound cheesy, but…I like it.

Now he’s helping me back up.

_Again._

__

_Oh how I love that man <3_