WRITING OBSTACLE

Submitted by Katelyn Jane

Write a chapter of a self-help book written by the absolute worst person to receive this kind of advice from.

What kind of awful advice might be found here?

Beauty Queen

As always, we want the easiest and quickest route to a solution. I don’t blame you; I once did the same, and look at me now—I’m a force to be reckoned with—a magnet.


It’s best to start the day off right: black coffee and an hour workout. A cup of coffee will rot your teeth, so make sure to use my link for ten dollars off my favorite thirty dollar toothpaste. It’s the newest trend; cortisol and ashwaganda are too irrelevant to still be using. In fact, just throw it away and buy more. Control even the bones in your mouth.


Carbs and sugar are an enemy—even nature’s generous harvest of produce. Blueberries are only a single calorie each; there’s your enriched breakfast.


Take a shower, but don’t lock the door. Bring a water bottle just in case the black spots appear. It’s not malnutrition, you idiots; it’s… normal. It’s discipline.


Don’t wear something too loose; it may make you look bigger. But don’t wear something too tight, for it does the same. Perhaps something that accentuates your figure while masks its shape.

In fact, never look in the mirror.


Ordering pizza with friends, getting popcorn at the movies, packing a picnic, celebrating with a brunch, carnival lemonade.


Why would you need that?

For a quiet spirit? Energy to play? To live?


No.

What you need is beauty, and hatred of oneself is the price.


So don’t look in the mirror, forget who you are, and fade away into a shadow of what could have been light.


Written by,

Who am I again?


_A/N: I kind of dreaded this prompt since it is not my forte but thank you for reading. _

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