I can’t attest to my original taste of sand, but as I awake amidst my body’s innate hacking and spattering attempts to eject the foreign substance, I’ve gotta say – not a fan.

“It’s like glitter,” I grate hoarsely in my half awake state, clenched teeth grinding over the grit that I grudgingly relent will be a part of me interminably.

I blow out a breath past my dry lips and immediately wheeze a laugh into the void behind my lids.

The fact that my mouth is so dry that it’s become an actual desert is suddenly the funniest thing in the world.

The silent laughter I spasm with cuts off as sudden exhaustion overtakes me.

I haven’t even opened my eyes yet, so that’s probably not good.

“Water,” I croak aloud to no one.

_No one_ provides.

A sudden deluge of water rushes over me like a rain cloud emptying its entire load at once.

I cry out, jackknifing upright, palms rising to rub at my only remaining dryness – my eyes.

“Not cool,” I complain to the cloud.

“Couldn’t have you sleep the day away,” it says.

I freeze.

I’d had the fleeting thought that this might all be a nightmare, but talking clouds?

That’s way too awesome.

This must be a dream come true.

My hands lower. My eyes creak open.

I blink through the blur until the bright white containing a silhouetted figure in front of me and green enveloping my periphery, sharpens into a tableau that doesn’t bode well.

First off, there are no clouds, sentient or otherwise.

Disappointing.

Secondly, I deduce the voice came from the large man looming over me, mostly from his expression of expectant impatience.

It’s one I’m personally familiar with from frequent exposure, despite the alien way he duplicates it.

And I do mean _alien_.

Undoubtedly around seven feet tall with long iridescent white hair, his eyes that are entirely lavender throughout the sclera, and blue skin that darkens around his face in a contour that makeup artists would kill to achieve, all comes into sharper focus the longer he allows me to assess him.

His coloring is quite pretty actually, almost turquoise, just like the water we –

_The water! _

I whip my torso around to better assess my surroundings, but there’s no ocean in sight. Just an endlessly thick forest of strange trees, their trunks bent and twisted almost artfully, bark exhibiting various shades of orange and red.

The coloring is too reminiscent of the last thing I recall.

Our ship had been divested by a storm.

Eight of us climbed into the wooden lifeboat that we didn’t even have to launch because the ship sank so fast, which was kinda nice.

Deafening wind, rain, and hail battered us.

The only illumination was the relentless lightning I began to resent for revealing the large waves we braced to crest, but then a great light appeared in the distance.

“Look!” I shouted over the storm, raising my finger in the light’s direction like an explorer discovering a new world.

Normally ignored by my peers, I was relieved they heeded me for once. Especially when the light grew bigger and bigger, brighter and brighter.

We all seemed to forget how to breathe.

_It’s a freaking fireball_.

“Abandon ship!” Taylor cried.

As the most senior on our mission, he commands respect as team lead, but I couldn’t dive into the sea for my life before replying, “Duh!”

The water cocooned me moments before fire consumed our only chance at safety on the surface above.

Shards of wood and splayed shapes of familiar bodies became detritus, backlit by dancing orange and red heat that consumed my vision until debris collided with my head.

_Or was that a foot? _

_Freaking Taylor, I bet._

I blink back into the present to find a pair of lavender eyes looking down on me in concern now.

I’m used to that expression, too, so I take the opportunity to ask, “Are there any others here?”

The man tilts his head to the side inquisitively.

I guess it’s perhaps rude of me to assume their gender, their deep voice and lone clothing being furred hide tied around their waist could simply indicate a fashion statement of a much freer people with a diverse array of members in their baritone choir.

“Others like me?” I clarify, trying not to get too excited about the idea of never having to wear a bra again if I’m stuck here.

“There were,” they answer reluctantly like I just tortured their informants location out of them.

I get their apprehension to speak of my people.

My coworkers are awful.

At least, to me.

My only contribution to the guild is my eerie ability to read others extremely well.

Turns out, spies that commit to lives of secrecy don’t exactly appreciate someone that finds them transparent.

Go figure.

Still, I’m not exactly loving the past tense of this being’s answer though.

“Were?” I prompt.

Their strange purple eyes dance over my undoubtedly artfully disheveled appearance.

Tone a strange combination of flippant and sharp: “They left.”

My hands dig into the unfamiliar soil at my sides to confirm the ground hasn’t actually fallen out from under me.

“Left?!” I repeat, my speech apparently limited to the ability level of parrots in my distress.

The being drops to a crouch. I scuttle back instinctively, which they seem to find intriguing.

The sand in my mouth feels like a delight compared to the full body chafe from my wet clothes, but the spear of nerves piercing me is quickly rising in the ranks of my discomfort.

A deep grunt seems to communicate resignation.

“They traded us for a ship,” those blue lips mouth slowly as though knowing every word they speak is further fraying my already tenuous mental stability.

“Traded wha –“

The realization robs me of breath.

_Me_. They traded _me. _

There’s almost a look of pity on the beings face before they rise once more.

I’d need binoculars to discern their expression now.

“Come along, then,” they voice dispassionately as though encouraging a pet they harbor no affection for.

My voice is surprisingly steady as I ask, “Where?”

“To your chambers,” they say like I’m an idiot.

Maybe I am.

I’m certainly struck dumb as they go on, “You’ll need to be freshened up before we’re wed.”

“Wed?!”

They sigh at my repeating act while I resign to the fact that my mind was lost at sea. I really thought it would take more to finally break me. The idea makes me angry enough to restore my voice.

“I’m not marrying you!“

The giant actually stumbles back a step as if my words had been a physical blow.

“You deny this honor?” they grit out in obvious anger and incredulity.

I throw my head back in a laugh.

Maybe not so wise, but I’ve never been accused of being as such.

“Honor?” I spit, “What’s so special about you?”

Their fists clench at their sides.

“I am the king.”

Well. That’ll do it.

The winds of fury fall from my sails entirely.

“Why me?” I breathe.

They shift on their large feet again, obviously not used to being questioned.

“You’ll be unsafe otherwise,” they decide to say.

Huh. That’s sweet.

I give them a long look, considering the way I can’t name a single time in history this has gone well for someone in my position, but I’ve always wanted to be the first at something.

They seem pretty formidable, but so has everyone that I’ve inevitably driven crazy with my presence. They think I’m being trapped, but really, they’re being stuck with me.

“Alright,” I relent calmly, which seems to startle them more than if I’d risen with a battle cry and attempted to tackle them to the ground, “I just have one condition.”

There’s a sharp expulsion of breath through their nose, almost like a laugh. “Go on.”

I point up at them seriously.

“Whoever launched a fireball at the lifeboat is _soooo_ not invited to the wedding.”

Speechless, they stare down with the posture of someone who doesn’t know what to make of me. That’s familiar as well. Maybe they’re not so alien after all.

Rising, I fruitlessly dust sand off my dirty pant covered thighs, just for an excuse to look down and hide my smug smile. I shutter it before looking all the way up at their face and motioning for them to show me the way.

They blink twice before turning, but then I realize they always do, as their eyes contain two sets of lids. Wish I’d had that before the sand debacle.

I restore my smirk at their big blue back, only a little annoyed that Taylor took the crew and left.

I’ll have to find a creative way to assure that he pays for losing the bet.

They’d all laughed with their sureity of these private people, that the guild has previously failed to infiltrate, would kill me instantly.

But I’d declared, with a dreamer’s confidence, that they’d immediately make me Queen.