I didn’t want to do this. I never thought I would actually do this to myself. I never thought I could do this to anyone else, especially those who I know did nothing wrong.

But their rights couldn’t cancel out the wrongs. I wish they did. I wish for nothing more then to still be by your side.

It doesn’t matter who you are. You reading this could have been someone special. Or you could have been the one I hated most. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I didn’t want to leave you behind.

Even though I did this, I put myself through this, it does not mean this was my choice.

That little girl I longed to return to never would have wanted this. She would be so disappointed and angered by who I turned her into.

I just wish I could have found a way to plunge a hole into this tank I have been drowning in. I could have drained out the water and given myself the chance to breathe. Maybe then she would be proud, but I ultimately did nothing but fail her.

I did the best I could. I hope you know that. I hope you remember me as someone who did their very best to live. Not as someone who was too weak to keep pushing.

But still, I pray that every night or day, you will find it in yourself to fall asleep without me.

I wish I could have warned you or at least prepared you for what would come next. But even though I missed that chance, you can still fall asleep without me.

I hope you know, that you could never truly fall asleep without me. When your heart feels full, you can thank me. I will always be here to restore your love.

When your hand feels empty, I won’t let you feel lonely any longer than that. You can trust me when I say I will still rush to your side and hold onto you tight.

I will always be here for you, no matter who you are. Just sadly, despite your support, my body could not live on. But my love for you will.

My love for you will never surrender, even if my heart had to stop beating.