When you look for advice in the dating scene it’s much different from a relationship, you want to keep in mind everyone’s happiness. Happiness, comfort, support, communication, love, even through the worst.

If you find yourself looking at your partner and wondering if you really love them, try picturing your life without them. How would you go about your day? What would you get up to? Where would you go and what would you do?

Is that life enjoyable? Are you happy knowing they’re out there and not with you? Can you make it where you want without their love and support? Do you lose your communication skills in public settings when they’re not around to help you communicate in a deeper way?

Love isn’t about an always, it’s about the now and later. Always is nice, but as humans we don’t know how long we have, or if we can make it to always. That’s indefinite. But love is really about what you do now, what you plan to do later.

Who you spend your life with is up to you, completely. And it may be hard to find, sure; but when you feel that warmth in your chest as their hello, and when you wish to see them every second of your day. You start to really understand what now and later means. It means your life, as long as you have control of it, you will be together now and later. In all ways you can, in every way you can.

And as she pressed the post button she closed her laptop and rolled over in her empty bed. Fingers gently caressing the empty pillow beside her head as she closed her eyes remembering his smile. The man she pushed away because she didn’t think she had enough time.

Wondering where he was, her chest felt heavy and her face scrunched. Her nasal airway burned as she hicked, her cheeks damp and her knuckles white as she clenched her shirt. Trembling.

What the hell did she know about real love? When she let it go so easily. So quickly. And she lies to all these people online as if she knew a damn thing about any of it.

Alone in the dark, pained, nobody to support her, to hold her. Nobody to wonder how she’s doing, nobody to cherish her heart or her wisdom. She may know love, but she definitely didn’t have it with her anymore.