The beach was nearly empty this morning, which was a lucky break, Jimmy was thinking, with a big, dumb grin plastered across his face. Lucky for him, because he was about to make a dream come true.

Sex on the beach. Apparently, it was so great that they named a drink after it. And it had been after consuming several of these drinks, as well as an assortment of others, that he chased a girl who was flirting with him in the bar out to this beach.

Jimmy’s expression went stale, though, realizing he had somehow lost track of her.

He stopped running. He peered ahead, looked right to the ridge that led to the parking lot, and looked left to the ocean, endlessly washing ashore. This didn’t do him much good, as his vision was blurry. Jimmy was a lightweight. It more ways than one.

Where did she go? He couldn’t figure it out.

“Hey! Where are you?” Jimmy yelled.

He didn’t say her name because he didn’t know it.

It was about this time that Jimmy threw up.

He crumbled to his knees and refunded all his drinks.

The sun was rising now, and the pink and orange light painted the moving waters. The green trees swayed in a cool morning wind. It was really quite a beautiful site, expect for Jimmy heaving in the middle of it.

He groaned. He tried looking ahead and around him one more time.

No girl.

He dropped his head, starring at the sand that was already soaking up his liquids.

He then spotted footprints. They weren’t his. He was pretty sure of that. So he figured they were from his girl.

The footprints led into the ocean.

Jimmy followed them, till his shoes became wet with foamy salt water.

“Hey!” He yelled again. It was the only bit of vocabulary available to him, the word, ‘hey’.

Spoiler alert: it’s the only word we are going to hear Jimmy say till his inevitably doomed end which will sadden no one on earth. Which, in itself, is a little sad.

Jimmy rubbed his eyes and scanned the waves rolling towards him. There was no sign of a swimmer. Did she drown? He couldn’t help but feel a pang guilt at that thought, but Jimmy was a professional at pushing away the guilt feeling.

Jimmy turned around and peered back at the sand and thick tree line. Maybe he made a mistake. Maybe the girl was laying under a tree giggling and waiting for him to bring his sexy drunk body over.

He saw no girl, but he did hear a giggle.

Then he felt something grip his left leg.

Then his right leg.

“H-hey!”, Jimmy gasped and stared at his feet.

His feet were under water, which always gives off a distorted view. The light was still gray. Also, he was very, very, drunk. So he didn’t really believe what he saw.

Because it looked like an octopus was grabbing him. Two thick, slimy, black tentacles were tightly tangled around his ankles.

They squeezed and yanked. Jimmy splashed face-first into the shallow waters. His face struck the sand, which had no give at all, so he realized it must have been a large stone. His brain swirled as white splotches speckled his vision.

He felt another tentacle wrap around his waist and flip him over.

Barely holding on to consciousness, Jimmy starred at the face of the the girl from the bar. But she had changed somehow. He saw the face, but it was endlessly wet, her skin covered with scales. Her once dark and gorgeous hair now resembled seeweed.

Jimmy couldn’t get himself to look down, because he was terrified to be right, but he thought the tentacles were apart of this…girl.

“Uh…hey,” Jimmy said.

The woman smirked.

“The moment our eyes met, I knew you were mine,” she said. “All mine.”

She fell onto him and splashed out of sight into the waves.

That was the end of Jimmy. And, it’s true: nobody missed him.