A REBUTTAL TO ME 120 DAYS AGO

I remember when I was a kid, when I was 10

learning to sew in primary and poking the needle through a thin layer of skin

though it is dusty with time and abandonment. There is no evidence of a butchering

leaving no trace

of  existence

Leave no blood.

Take no trophy

Here’s to you, to who

I will not miss,

No matter the gash

Flowers can fix a thousand cuts

turned to a wound made official

Forever unreliable

But the constant remains that

like the cicadas that rang into our ears

The scars I’ve carved into my neck and shoulders

five across, three down

i can afford 

pain

made in

God’s image, it will live on

even love arrives in prognosis

Hazy and short-lived.

A blip in a star’s life

Mocking me.

Whispering, fall

succumb to crowd control

unbuckling in the moonlight

“I’m so sorry.” A woman’s voice

pulls me closer,

back to the surface

Betrayal when I was younger

It did not feel like what I thought it would,

or what I wanted it to

I hadn’t even thought about it

So now I’ve been thinking

after grabbing a knife from the kitchen

Incompetence may be fatal

There are just some things that nobody will do for you

i put down the razor blade

-

every one of these lines is from a friend of mine, all of us HSPVA class of '28. i love them all dearly. this was written to thank them all for literally saving my life and to illustrate my growth as a person.

CREDITS

“I remember when I was a kid, when I was 10 …” - AB

“learning to sew in primary and poking the needle through a thin layer of skin …” - Alexandra

“though it is dusty with time and abandonment. There is no evidence of a butchering …” - Christine

“leaving no trace of  existence …” - Crimson

“Leave no blood. Take no trophy …” - Desi

“Here’s to you, to who I will not miss, …” - Dexter

“No matter the gash // Flowers can fix a thousand cuts …” - Edie

“turned to a wound made official …” - Em

“Forever unreliable // But the constant remains that …” - Floryn

“like the cicadas that rang into our ears …” - German

“The scars I’ve carved into my neck and shoulders …” - Grace

“five across, three down …” - Isa

“i can afford // pain …” - Inaya

“made in // God’s image, it will live on …” - Kiran

“even love arrives in prognosis …” - Kylie

“Hazy and short-lived. A blip in a star’s life …” - Layan

“Mocking me. Whispering, fall …” - Maximiliano

“succumb to crowd control …” - Arden

“unbuckling in the moonlight …” - Lia

““I’m so sorry.” A woman’s voice …” - Morayma

“pulls me closer, back to the surface …” - Raymond

“Betrayal when I was younger …” - Sofia

“It did not feel like what I thought it would, or what I wanted it to …” - Tallulah

“I hadn’t even thought about it // So now I’ve been thinking …” - Thomas

“after grabbing a knife from the kitchen …” - Vishwa

“Incompetence may be fatal // There are just some things that nobody will do for you …” - Ylise

“i put down the razor blade” - Allen