I ran, panting harshly. My palms bleeding, my heart racing, my face wet and sweat filled. My breathing filled with apprehension

What was I running from? I don’t think I even knew at the time. All I remember was entering a suspects house, gunshots, the incoherent screaming of my team, and yelling.. yelling that was targeted towards me.

When I ran out of the house, I didn’t even process fully, I didn’t even see the persons face, hell, I didn’t know if the person right on my tail was a man or a woman.

I tripped, once. My palms scraped against the ground, and I basically flipped into the middle of the road. I got up and continued running, despite the pain and the honks I heard near me.

I bit my lip harshly, tasting the metallic tang on my tongue. The pain in my legs was unbearable. But I had to keep running. I couldn’t stop, or who knows what would become of me..

My thoughts ran with me. And then the pieces came together. I was running from someone I knew. I knew very well.

I felt tears prick at my eyes.. but could it be him? There’s no way in hell.. right? But the screaming.. the time, the place.. it had to be, it added up perfectly.

We used to work together, him and I. We were partners. But not in my current workforce. No, my Partner in crime. And not metaphorically.

We robbed banks, stole crack, and even killed a few.

We had fun. Truly.. that was when I was my happiest. And though we just lived in an old, run down apartment, I felt safe. He made me feel safe. Unhealthy life and activities? Sure. But an amazing friend who meant the world to me, and was one of the only times I ever let down my walls.

I won’t admit it out loud, but whenever I was around him, I felt stomach butterflies fly through myself, and my palms would get sweaty. Did I have a maybe slight crush on him in that day and time? Obviously not!! We were just best friends! That’s all.. but it’s still hard to say that when I’d consistently admire his face whenever we were doing our deeds.

One fateful day, we were robbing a bank. He accidentally triggered the alarm, and we had to escape from the police

“Oscar, go through the vent, I’ll catch up. I promise. Just let me get the rest of the money.” He muttered, his voice gentle, and sweet.

“Are you sure you can make it?” I asked firmly, looking him straight in his pretty eyes.

“I promise I will.” He hummed, I quickly jumped through the vent, money in hand. Spoiler alert, he didn’t make it.

I was questioned later on, I was the prime suspect to be his ‘partner’.. I lied straight thriugh my teeth.

“What? No— never. I was his friend but—“ I started, before the police officer smacked down a few hnundereds in front of me on the table..

I gave in.

I explained all of our plans, word for words, as I counted the amount of money I would get in my head. Not only did I expose our plans, but other thiefs as well.

I got over 17 people arrested that day. That and I also got a good 6,500 dollars, and a job in the detective agency.

And now I’m here. Running from my friend whom I’ve betrayed.

But this isn’t the first time I’ve had to run from him. It’s been 2 years since I’ve exposed him, and he broke out of jail a few months after, out for blood, my blood.

And I’ve had to run from him so many times. I haven’t counted, but at least 10. If I’m honest? I still love him. I love him more than anything. I’ll finally admit it. I miss our shared moments, the way he used to look at me, the way his soothing voice comforted me to sleep safely at night. Noe I can’t sleep at all, constantly being reminded of my betrayal, and how he must feel. I’m not a man who cries really, but if anyone mentions the topic, I will break down sobbing.

I deserve death, don’t I? Betraying my friend for a few thousand bucks.. I deserve death. Even if I do die, at least it will be in his hands, not my own, bleeding on the kitchen floor.

My knees gave out, I collapsed in this patch of grass that was vividly green, every part of my body screamed in pain.

I felt his strong arm around my shoulder, his other one weilding a knife, holding it to my collar bone..

I should say how I feel right here and now. What have I got left to lose? I’ve already lost the love of my life, so I guess that’s all I really ever had that was worth living for.

“Jonas..” I mutter, my callosed hands gripping his collar, tears already streaming down my face, a half smile etched on it. He was holding me like he used to. Aggressive now, but he was holding me.

“What the hell do you want, you godamn traitor..?” He spat cruelly, I could see it in his eyes. He recognized my small smile, how I felt, he always did.

“I..” I stuttered a bit, swallowing harshly. My palms sweated again, my hand cupped his freckled cheek, his eyes softened for a moment, before hardening again.

“I love you.” I hum, with a choked sob that was more of a gargle. Pure fear ran throughout his face. The knife was already in. It was too late. I felt numb to the sickening squelch of the knife twisting in my chest, the acute pain that wracked through my lithe body.

“Oscar..” He muttered, voice breaking, as tears pricked at his eyes.. he removed his hand from the knife.. his hand coming around my waist, the other running through my oily hair..

“Why are you telling me this now?!” Jonas exclaimed, with a harsh sob. I could tell he had so many emotions going through him right now. Anger, sadness, and the most obvious, mourning.

“You godamn idiot..” He muttered, tears streaming down his own face as well. He burried his face into the crook of my neck, sobbing softly..

I felt my eyes close, the light of the sun fading as I did, my hands stopped their comforting caress on his back, the knife felt like nothing. My skin felt cold.

“I’m sorry, Jonas.” I murmered. I know I wouldn’t be able to speak again after this. To hear his voice, feel his warm touch. All I’d even come close to feeling are the fiery flames of hell. That enough is guaranteed.

Before my ears became deaf, and I couldn’t speak no longer, I heard the faintest little voice call out.

“I love you too.” It said, I felt a soft kiss onto my neck, before hearing more faint sobbing.

Everything went silent. All I could hear was the drip.. drops.. of my own blood. I can’t help but murmur once again to myself even in death..

I deserve this.

…