The slamming loudness from silence lingers inside my ears—

shaking the very core I’ve cradled in my entire body.

“I’ve never felt this kind of silence.”

Genuinely concerned, scouring through my brain.

It’s reached crevices, and areas my body couldn’t refuse.

Pulling the smell further in my nostrils.

One cave at a time.

What is this feeling?

My whole life I’ve lived in loudness—

never finding the quietness that soaked with every pause.

— deliberately blocking speculation. To never intrigue.

Even imagining looking into details contorts every nerve in my face.

Scrunching tightly.

Causing a natural body shift.

Shivers run through me at the thought.

I’m oblivious.

I’ll slip past a dollar bill hanging on the floor—

all while it’s nestling in the leaves, tucked away like a hidden flower.

“Walking into the deli that day was a bad idea…

on so many levels.”

Pinching myself. Hoping to wake from that nightmare.

“Why’d I even think to go in there during irregular times?”

Ma always taught me to stay away from night-time delis.

They only have two things available at those times—

definitely not sandwiches you’ll be buying.

That advice always stuck to me.

Never even tried to second-guess it.

Ma never steered me in the wrong direction before.

“POP.”

A loud bang enters my ears.

As the smell of gunpowder locks in my nose,

I slowly crouch toward the ground, praying I don’t get noticed.

Forcing my legs to just run out the door.

But I couldn’t.

I really wanted a sandwich.

— not included with a bullet.

A man suddenly appears around the shelf that was blocking my view.

As he’s looking at me, I look at him—

I guess we both were a bit confused.

The silence couldn’t get any louder.

It was the only leverage I had at that very moment.

Before he could even come near, I booked it.

Opening the door, praying my face left no memory.

I’m not going back to that deli again.

— ever.