My mind full of color, imagination, and love. I long to be with it forever. Each pencil stroke makes my heart beats faster. I just can’t look away, the color, design, feeling, to me it’s my world. Every time I blink, I catch a glimpse of the beauty, and every night in my dreams I adore it all over again. I admire every speck and flaw, whenever I stumble it seems to catch me before I fall.

I stare for hours, and paste the images everywhere I can manage, so every second I’m injected with dopamine. At moments when the devil throws me in the darkness, the painting seems to remind of the light of the world. I feel that every fiber of it beauty is sewn onto me with my blood.

My hand grazed upon the painting before I pulled my hand back.

Despite this my heart still feels empty, but why?

Despite my longing, they won’t know my love. I like to believe I’m the only one, I know they’re millions just like me.

I looked down and walked away, my lips tightly conflicted.

Whenever I think about it I seem to always loose myself into the mass of fans. When the colors take over my heart, I don’t even have a spot in the creators mind.

I sat on my bed and opened my phone, my phone screen with the image of the painting.

I am nothing but dust, when to me they’re nothing short of my sun.

I opened my phone, more of their art still opened. I stared, stared remembering the times it’s grappled me from inner turmoil.

They won’t know-they will never know. Maybe I should stop relying on this one sided love.

I closed out the tab.

When they are my shoes that keep me running, I am merely a speck of dirt at the bottom of their earth.

I opened settings scrolled to wall paper my finger selected current wall paper. My finger hovered over delete, I closed my eyes. I turned off my phone and got up to look at the painting. My hands ran down the sides of the frame, I smiled breathing in its beauty.

Then again, the sun doesn’t know I exist, it only sees the earth. Maybe-I can just, stay in my delusion. Even if it might one day leave, I’ll smile. It’s what wakes me up, it’s what keeps my feet walking, it’s what keeps my heart beating. I want to stay basking in the sun. Even if there’s many like me, no ones heart will beat like mine does.

A tear ran down my face, before a faint smile swept it away.

I know you will forever light me. Even if you don’t see me on earth, I am nothing to you, but I will still let my heart bask in your forever providing sun.