VISUAL PROMPT

Photo by Annite Spratt @ Unsplash

Create a story or poem with the theme of 'Dead Roses'.

cycle of spring

a rose budded from its mother

can only morph into so many forms.

at its core,

its root,

a rose is still a rose

its destiny predetermined

and by any other name,

it smells just as sweet.


a rose is a symbol of love

placed gently in a vase on a first date

picked apart and strewn on the floor by the honeymoon.


a rose is an ephemeral beauty

worshipped in its prime

forgotten once it’s wilted.


a rose may be alive and well,

but once it’s abandoned for a new bud

it will crumble

dying as proof that its life was never in its own hands.


a rose is a flower

merely an object to observe when it’s bloomed

and to cast away when it’s old

leaving only the thorns behind

as a reminder of how unworthy it truly was.

Comments 2

I’m gonna try to leave some feedback. Some disclaimers first: I’m not criticizing, just trying to be helpful. Poetry is very hard to critique because it’s so open ended, so a lot of my feedback is more opinion based than right/wrong. I hope something makes sense and helps!


This looks like a free form poem with no rhyme scheme or structure of note. Nothing wrong with that but sometimes having a structure can help organize your poem in a meaningful way. You can even start with a structure and break it or change it half way through to emphasize a change in your meaning or tone. Just something to think about.


Your line lengths vary greatly which changes the pace of your poem quite a bit. This may be intentional, but I’m just making note so you can recognize it if it wasn’t intentional. Short lines are quick and choppy (generally) while longer lines flow more and are slower (generally). So your first stanza starts slow/flowy and then gets really quick and choppy with 2-3 short words per line. It seemed strange to me because a description of a rose can certainly be a beautiful thing and not a choppy/messy thing, so I didn’t know if that was intentional because of the negative tone about the rose or just random… for example you could combine lines 3-5 into:


At its core, its root, a rose is still a rose


Which would read more like the first two lines—smooth and slow.


I love the imagery of the second stanza. Very curious if being picked about and strewn on the floor is supposed to be positive or negative because the connotation there is positive, like a romantic once in a life time evening, but it’s clearly negative for the rose which is the subject of the poem. I found that interesting and deep.


After the second stanza the poem gets notably more negative. Talking about being forgotten, crumbling, dying, lacking control, and unworthy. I found this to be interesting to the contrast of love and beauty in the first two stanzas, but there was some underlying negatives early on that I did pick up on.


This poem seemed pretty emotional, but not very specific. Like a general feeling of lacking control and being forgotten after your use dried up. The vagueness made it easy to relate to in a way, because I could attach those general feelings to anything in my life, but it sort of lacked direction overall. Like I’m not sure if this is about a relationship, life in general, or a specific event. That’s not bad, and vagueness is sometimes intentional, but I’m again just noting it.


One thing I will say is that there are some very irrelevant lines that seemed too obvious for such a deep poem. While there are a few, the one I really noticed is “a rose is a flower”. It’s the first line of the last stanza, which made it notable because it kicked off your “ending.” However, I think that line could be removed or combined with the second line. Something like:


A rose is merely an object to observe when it’s bloomed


This just seems to flow better to me. The short first line of “a rose is a flower” didn’t seem to add anything to the poem and didn’t match the pace of the rest of the stanza…


Overall, great job! I like the take on something that is often seen as positive and pointing out the negatives. However, I hope you don’t think you are unworthy for any reason. Keep writing and I would love to see a positive poem from you as well! Perhaps I’ll look through and find or to comment on later.